Secrets of Sharing
by Ballettmaus
Summary: Mac's and Stella's secret is discovered while they're discovering another meaning of their joined lives.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything... certainly not!

Thank you to Lily_Moonlight as she again corrected my mistakes!

Just a short oneshot without any point, really. There are references to my oneshots "Right in front of me" and "From Rinks to Rings", so that makes this a sequel, however, it is by no means necessary to have read either. Enjoy!

* * *

"Stella, I'm not asking you to give up your identity!" Mac rubbed a hand over his face, slightly weary. "All I'm asking you is considering changing your last name." In the haste they had gotten married in, neither had spent a single thought on that issue, however, with all the time he had on his hands at the moment, he obviously had now.

"You're asking me to become Mrs Mac Taylor." Stella sat back, crossing her arms, her body language mirroring her unyielding mind.

"You already _are_ Mrs Mac Taylor," he reminded her, a glare his reward.

"I'm your wife, Mac."

"That's my point Stella." A tiny flicker of hope sparked to life.

"But I'm still Stella Bonasera."

He deflated visibly yet she wasn't much more appreciative of the situation. They were turning in circles with neither an end nor a beginning and no way out and she had already cursed him – silently – a couple of times for bringing it up during lunch. It was one of the few precious times they had to themselves at the moment and it was not her wish to spend them involved in a discussion with him.

"I wouldn't want you to become someone else." He reached for his coffee, washing down some of the frustration.

"Then why are you so keen on convincing me to change my name?" It wasn't a question but a challenge, one she was confident of winning.

"Because…" His voice trailed off as he struggled to find the words which would rightfully express his emotions, his reasons. "It would create a different connection." He paused. "We're sharing an address, an apartment, a bed, however, when I look at the letter heads, we're still two separate people." Finally, he revealed what had led to him thinking about it in the first place.

"You want us to become one."

"I want us to show that we belong together." His eyes locked with hers, emphasizing his statement.

"We have those for that." Pulling her left hand out, she indicated to the ring. "And we _know_." She wasn't budging a single inch.

"The name would be another part of it." He reached for her hand, detangling it from her arm and intertwining his fingers with hers. She didn't respond, studying him wordlessly and pulling away when the waitress brought their check.

Mac handled the tab while she disappeared to the ladies' room, then, despite the cast on his lower arm, he helped her into her jacket almost routinely. They left in silence and a few minutes later were en route to the doctor's office where she would drop him off before returning to the lab, stillness continuing between them.

A traffic light made them stop and she looked at him, her phone springing to life the instant she had been about to say something. She fished it from her pants and handed it to Mac, her eyes never leaving the road.

He answered, briefly and very firmly explaining why it was him on the phone, the rest of the conversation short and unmistakably work related.

"Crime scene's just down the street." Not turning, he placed the phone on the dashboard as Stella hissed at the driver who had cut in right in front of her for no apparent reason. "I'll take a cab from there."

Despite herself, she had to smile. "After you follow me accidentally inside."

They exchanged a brief glance yet he didn't bother to reply and soon after she parked the car behind a row of police cars. Spectators were lining the street, watching the officers secure the area and Mac and Stella had to push through several crowds before they reached the stairs of a town house. The inside wasn't as busy as many officers had already left the scene and with a professional eye they inspected the hallway on their way to the living-room.

Flack was talking to a fellow officer but their conversation didn't last much longer and he turned, a look of question crossing his face upon spotting Mac.

"He's on the way to the doctor." Setting her kit down, Stella glanced around, finding the victim mostly hidden from view behind the sofa.

"I can see that." Flack grinned then became serious again. "There's another victim in the bedroom down the hall." He paused as Stella and Mac approached the body before he continued to fill them in on the few details he had learnt so far.

Taking irregular turns they asked an occasional question as Stella began shooting pictures of the victim and eventually the three of them fell silent. She signaled for the ME once the body could be removed and they watched it happen when Hawkes joined them. He gave Mac a strange look but contrary to Flack didn't comment and wordlessly hurried for the bedroom Mac sent him to.

Visibly displeased, Stella glared at him and he offered a silent apology. She didn't reply to that, instead fixed him with expecting eyes to which he opened his mouth yet shut it again. He glanced around as if he searched for a reason to prolong his stay, rubbing a hand over his neck absent-mindedly.

"Who did you get married to?" Flack had caught sight of his ring, grinning.

"Stella." The answer was as lost in thought as Mac's mind and it wasn't until the words had been said that he realized them, his head snapping up just like Stella's. Their gazes locked then shifted to Flack.

"Stella?" Flack's eyes widened incredulously. "You got married to_ Stella_?" His voice was as disbelieving and for an instant his gaze darted between them before he shook his head, amused.

"You really had me fooled for a second." He smirked and Mac was ready to confirm what he had blurted out but swallowed the words. With a shrug he turned towards Stella, the shock still noticeable in both their gazes.

"I'll call you later."

He nodded at her words, the brief look they exchanged saying something different though, adding everything they couldn't share verbally. His drawing away was then almost brusquely and he offered a quick bye to Flack before heading from the room.

The younger detective got ready to follow and Stella lifted the camera back up yet halted when Flack did. Something had apparently caught his attention and she tried to see where he was looking, however, was unable to find out – until he reached for her hand, pulling it towards him.

He gasped for air, staring at her ring then at her while he made several attempts at talking and she shifted uncomfortably. She glanced towards the door, seeking for Mac's support but he was long gone.

"Would you mind letting go of my hand?"

Her request reflected her uneasiness and Flack stared some more before comprehending, giving her hand back.

"So…" He swallowed hard. "It was no joke?"

The answer was obvious yet he was nevertheless waiting for confirmation.

"Would you believe me if I said it was?"

"I don't know…" He was still bewildered and again seemed at a loss for words. "How… When…?" She grinned. "Why…?"

"Why?" Her brows shot up and he shrugged.

"Fine, I know why people get married but… Did anyone know about this?"

"We've told Sinclair." It wasn't what he had meant, regardless, he grimaced and she flashed back to the chief's stunned expression and lecture that had followed. "And whoever was in charge of changing our personnel files knows as well." She smirked briefly at his confusion and once more at his sneering grunt.

"But you're the first to have noticed." Her smile was conciliatory and he seemed to relax a little.

"How long has it been?" Curiosity had finally beaten the shock and he had apparently gladly forgotten about work. However, she hadn't and glanced around the scene a bit impatient. "Stel, you can't tell me hell froze over and expect me to go back to business as usual!" He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "So. For how long?"

"Two weeks."

There was a short nod from him in response and she made another attempt at continuing her work.

"Two weeks? Come on, Stel, that can't be all."

She rewarded his words with a look of skepticism. "We've been married for two weeks, Flack. I'm not giving you any details of the wedding night."

He flinched and signaled surrender, a faint blush creeping up his neck. "Not an image I want to have of Mac," he mumbled, "or you," he hurried to add upon catching her glare. "But details of the wedding… Why did you guys keep it a secret? Didn't you need witnesses?"

"Flack!" She was a bit edgy as he once more hindered her proper doing of her job.

"Exact wedding date?"

"Flack!" Her voice rose and this time he took a small step backwards.

"March 13th," she relented and he threw her a goofy grin before actually retreating to the door.

"Wait a minute!" He turned back around and with a heavy sigh she let the camera sink yet again. "That's the day Danny and Lindsay got married."

"So?"

"So…" He let the word fade out. "I don't know." His eyes met hers and he studied her. "But there's something… You're not getting away with this, Stel. I want all the details later." While his words were serious, his gaze was twinkling. "And I'm going to get them." He didn't wait for a reply but turned around and followed by her amused glance, hurried from the room.

With a slight shake of her head, she shifted her attention back to the crime scene and was finally able to finish the photos. She was halfway through collecting the little evidence there was when Hawkes stepped back into the room. He helped her finish and together they walked back to their cars, then returned to the lab separately. Still, they arrived within minutes and he caught the elevator she was in just as the doors were about to close. A broad grin appeared on Hawkes' face, her question, however, died on her lips when her phone rang and she answered without checking the caller ID. In a mainly one-sided conversation, Mac let her know that the stitches had been pulled, the wound was healing fine and he would have to be back for a check up on his wrist in a week.

She acknowledged all of it with short answers, aware of the smirk Hawkes regarded her with and forgoing any terms of affection, she hung up.

"Was that your husband?" A sly spark twinkled in Hawkes' eyes and she allowed the corners of her mouth to twitch upwards in amusement. The news had travelled even faster than she had expected.

"And it would be of your concern how?" She lifted her brows, still not entirely serious. "But yes, it was Mac."

He grinned, the doors of the elevators opening and she followed him out, towards the trace lab.

"How long has it been going on?" The look on his features reminded her of a lurking cat, lulling its victim into a false sense of security until it would fall into the claws it wouldn't get out of.

Yet she was smarter than that, telling him the same she had told Flack, establishing without words that there was no need to pry for further details. Nevertheless consideration crossed his face for a second, however, he relented and simply congratulated her.

"Mrs Taylor!" The name slipped off Danny's tongue in an exaggerated announcement but he almost backed away when met with Stella's piercing eyes. "Sid's been asking for you," he hurried to add and was assigned to take care of the evidence with as little words as needed before Stella headed out of the room.

Minutes later she stepped into the morgue and Sid looked up from the body he had been working on, a smile spreading over his face as he lowered his glasses.

"Detective Bonasera."

She rolled her eyes playfully at his emphasized formality yet returned his warm smile.

"Pardon me, that would be Detective Taylor now, wouldn't it?" The question was asked with caring interest, however, her smile faded instantly.

"It's Bonasera and I hope you didn't call me down here to discuss my private life!" Her tone was sharp and she noticed it, adding: "I'm sorry."

He nodded, his eyes wandering over her inquisitively.

"What have you got for me, Sid?"

The ME hesitated but respected the line she had drawn and motioned for one of the autopsy tables. In a few words he explained his findings on yesterday's victim, showing her several of them and handed her some trace he had collected from the body, all the while the concern never left his gaze.

When he fell silent, she thanked him and moved towards the door.

"Stella?"

She stopped and turned around, inquiry obvious in her features.

"If you need to talk…" Sid didn't finish the sentence yet she knew what he was saying and gave a short nod, flashing him a grateful smile. "Marriage always is a big step, no matter how well you know each other." He paused, their eyes meeting. "Somehow this little piece of metal makes a huge difference."

She understood immediately, both Mac and her having had difficulties adjusting to their little quirks they had known about but that suddenly were so different. Their discussions over them didn't outnumber the good moments yet there were more than enough for her taste.

"You're not having serious trouble already, are you?"

A faint smile crossed her lips and as much as she wanted to, she couldn't tell him to keep minding his own business.

"No…" Her eyes dropped to the jar in her hands and she turned it over before looking back up. "It's just… He asked me to take on his last name."

Surprise flickered over Sid's face and she realized in that moment that he wasn't aware of the circumstances which had led to their marriage; that he couldn't know that they didn't have any time to discuss issues such as their last names prior to being wed.

She told him now, tentatively; that they had made the decision waiting for Danny and Lindsay, as a result of playful banter, him challenging her to try the "I do"-part for herself.

"Don't you dare say a word," she finished and Sid lifted his hands in defeat.

"I wasn't going to." His eyes twinkled, amusement shining. "But I must say, it's quite an interesting way to enter the bond of holy matrimony."

"There was nothing holy about it," she muttered and he had to bite back a smile yet didn't respond.

"May I ask why?"

It took her a moment to understand what he meant, however, the answer wasn't as simple and she remained silent.

"I know that a name is part of our identity, Stella," he went on when she didn't and she had to smile. "But being a Taylor is also part of your identity now."

She didn't answer, just looked at him then let her eyes wander to the object in her hand once more.

"It's not just that…" Her gaze returned to his. "I guess I'm scared he could realize he made a mistake." She shrugged and gave Sid an almost apologetic smile.

"Do you really think Mac would have taken such a huge step without being sure it was the right one?" It was a question though he clearly didn't expect a reply and she found her mind drifting back to the conversation Mac and she had had on their way to City Hall. The look he had given her when stating that he hadn't yet had the relationship he wanted to lead to marriage was still vivid as were the emotions he had triggered and another, a soft smile began to form on her lips.

"Besides, it would be much easier for kids." Sid's added words had her snap back to reality and she met his mischievously twinkling eyes.

"No, we haven't talked about that," she answered his hidden question. "And even if we had, that really would be nothing of your concern." Her gaze was full of the amusement her scolding was laced with and he smirked at her.

"Kids would suit you."

"Sid!" Once more he lifted his hands in surrender but the playfulness left neither her nor his eyes. "Thanks." She smiled warmly and he responded in kind then she turned yet halted again. "If at all, at my age, it's going to be just one." Her eyes met his, the look of surprise in his gaze replaced quickly by understanding and offering him one more smile, she walked from the morgue.

...

Quietness greeted Stella as she unlocked the apartment door, the only trace of light coming from underneath the bedroom door at the hallway. She hadn't expected him to be asleep already; except for the two days right after his accident he had always waited up for her and she quickly put badge, gun and shield into the hallway closet. Moments later she stepped into the bedroom, finding Mac already in his pajamas, pillows propped up in his back, the TV running. He wasn't watching though but was busy with the files she had brought him home yesterday, however, upon her entering he shut the file he had been concentrating on, setting it onto the stack next to the bed.

"Hey." His voice was as warm as his eyes and she echoed his word as she sat down next to him, leaning in for a tender kiss.

"Rough evening?"

Stella just nodded, exhausted from yet another almost-double shift and she let him pull her into his chest, allowing her eyes to shut for a moment.

"How much longer are you going to be home again?" She knew the answer and he didn't reply, simply placed an affectionate kiss onto her hair. "Flack realized you weren't joking," she then muttered into his chest, savoring the caressing his fingers had begun. "They all know." Freeing herself a little, she shifted, their eyes meeting. "I was right." A tired grin appeared on her face as she referred to the talk they had had the day they had put on the rings and had wondered how long it would take for anyone to notice.

"I didn't object, did I?"

Her response was another kiss before she struggled reluctantly out of his arms. She started to undress, aware of his eyes observing her every move as she rounded the bed and piled up clothes on a chair until she had stripped down to her panties. Flashing him a smile, she disappeared into the bathroom and instants later stood under the warm, relaxing water of the shower.

"Have you had time to eat?"

Through the almost transparent shower screen she could see that Mac had followed, leaning against the sink.

"Flack insisted I had a quick dinner with him." The water muffled her response, however, the grin she had on her face was still as audible and the insinuation was clear: it wasn't dinner Flack had been interested in but details of their marriage. "He decided we were the craziest people he knows."

"How did he reach that conclusion?"

Stella poked out her head and they shared a knowing look.

"I'm not quite sure." She had retreated under the water, rinsing out her hair. "I think he determined that after he heard about the circumstances which led to our marriage – and those, I had to repeat twice." Shutting off the water, she wrapped a towel around her hair then around her body.

He grinned at her, watching with loving eyes as she dried her skin.

"I don't see how marrying you could ever be considered crazy."

Offering him a look of mock-skepticism, she let his arms circle around her waist to pull her close.

"Charmer," she muttered the moment his lips met hers and she felt him smirk before they engaged in a gentle exchange of affection. They didn't explore but simply tasted, fed on each other's presence and it was only with reluctance that they drew apart.

"Pretty good charmer," she mumbled, still savoring the emotions of the kiss and her eyes fluttering open only slowly.

She stayed in his arms some more yet eventually shifted out of them and finished her evening routine while she provided Mac with a summary of the day at the lab. Together they then returned to the bedroom where she slipped into her tank top and shorts that served as pajamas and with him switching off the light, she crawled under the covers, snuggling into his waiting arms. It was what she had been looking forward to for the last two hours at least and he pulled her close, securing his hold around her. The tender caressing of her arm enforced that sensation, the rhythmic beating of his heart lulling her rapidly and she gladly sank into that so different world of completeness.

"I talked to Sid today." Her voice was laden with sleep and his stroking stopped for a second, an expression of his surprise that she was still awake. "Do you really want me to become Mrs Taylor?" She shifted a little but didn't lift her head off his chest.

"Stella, I told you…"

"No." Now she scrambled onto her elbows, tugging a few damp curls out of her eyes. "What I mean is – are you sure you're ready for it? For… another Mrs Taylor?"

There was silence as he let his eyes wander over her in the near darkness.

"I am, Stella." He reached for her, his palm cupping her cheek, his thumb brushing over her skin. "But I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with."

She smiled, covering his hand and leading it to her lips, placing a soft kiss to his wedding band.

"Besides, there would always be the option of me changing my name…" He was hesitant, obviously not entirely at ease with that thought.

"Mac, you're too conservative to take on the last name of your wife." It wasn't a reproach and she still smiled, his brows, however, rising.

"You think I couldn't do it?" His fingers intertwined with hers and she lay back down slowly, wrapping his arm around her again.

"I think you'd prefer if it was the other way around." Her finger began to draw random circles onto his PJ-top. "But I'll be fine." She let her hand slide to the buttons, undoing a few of them so she could move her hand onto his bare chest, covering his heart, her thumb brushing over his skin. "I've heard it a couple of times today. It doesn't sound too bad."

Even though she couldn't see it, she knew he smiled and her lips curled upwards as well.

"I guess, I _would_ prefer it if you became Taylor…" he admitted and she shifted, once more meeting his eyes. "Maybe I can make amends with something else."

"Can I decorate our new bedroom in pink?" She grinned at him and he frowned.

"I think we would _both_ sleep in the living-room in that case." He grinned back and lifted his head, uniting their lips for another kiss. "I love you, Stella. No matter what your name."

"I know." She kissed him again. "But I'll be okay." She paused briefly, searching his eyes. "You've made me want to change it."

A smile crossed his face and their eyes held on for a moment before they let their lips meet for the third time in a row, longer this time, exploring, sealing their conclusion.

"I love you, too," she whispered as they separated then cuddled back into his chest. Sleep overwhelmed her now and she was barely awake when his soft voice reached her ear.

"You're the only one I'd ever want to be another Mrs Taylor."

His words engulfed her with warmth and she let them carry her as she drifted off into the land of dreams, knowing he wouldn't ever give her a reason to regret any of her decision; the shared name only further strengthening their infinite bond of love.


End file.
